my little spark of madness... :)

i still have no idea why n how i agreed 2 being subjected 2 dis...but now dat i have been tagged, here i m wid 31 confessions...
i may sound weird at times...but dats probably because i m just dat....
so ppl....here i go...

1.I m proud 2 b an elder child...it really means a lot 2 me...n i just love it wen
mummy n papa consult me 4 the very small n insignifant things like the colour of the
curtains or the positioning of the couch...i feel big n honoured...

2.This one i mentioned in my earlier post as well...i hate 2 explain...samajh aaya to
theek..nahi aaya to bhi theek...dont ask me wht dat means...i will not explain...

3.I m highly religious n a bit superstitious...but dont believe in stuff like "if u do
not forward dis mail within the next 10 minutes,u'll have bad luck for the next 2
years"...

4.I love collecting....guess what??????deo bottles...not dat i m a dirty stinky
creature...just like dat...

5.I dont like eating bananas.

6.I used 2 bite my nails as a kid...quit doing dat long back!!!

7.I love my left hand....absolutely weird...i know...but cant help it.

8.I love 2 smell my hair...especially after a wash...

9.I love my parents...is dat a cofession????not yet...my biggest fear in life is
losing dem...nothing scares me more...dis is the confession part of it.

10.I eat sandwiches inwards...i.e.the periphery first...wht m i sayingg?????somebody
plz stop me...

11.I never leave litter on roads nor do i drop coins in rivers...n these 2 i owe to
darpan sir...n all those of u reading dis,on a serious note for a change...if u have
surplus of money...donate it for some noble cause...or give it 2 me.. ;)...but plz
dont dump ur country's currency like dis...

12.Now dis one is really hard 2 reveal...i write verses...yes i do...never ask me 2
show dem 2 u...trust me ...i wont.

13.I can not argue...n its not because i dont wish 2...it is b'coz i just cant...at
times i wish 2 shout at the top of my voice...but i have no idea how dat is done... :(

14.I hate being called "cute"...

15.I cry a lot.ab sabke saamne nahi roti,par akele me...my godddd.n it makes me
feel gud...

16.I m a living example of procrastination...

17.I just love it wen ppl appreciate my sense of humour...i hope i m not sounding
arrogant...

18.I dont lie too often..but wen i do u cant make it out...

19.The way a person talks matters 2 me a lottttttt..i dont like made up ppl but there
shud b something catchy...n i m pretty quick at catching...

20.I m scared of looking down from heights...

21.I feel bad for all those old ppl who still work 2 earn a living...n i hate nani wen
she aska nanaji 2 go out 2 get something...n i mean it...i want nanaji 2 b at home
n relax...

22.I have dis very bad habit of contemplating...its something i wanna get rid
of...but dis is probably not possible...dis is one thing i hate 'bout myself...

23.I strongly believe in perfection...i feel dat every thing shud b done in the best
possible manner...it may not turn out 2 b perfect...but it'll land up sm where near
excellence...

24.Now the big one...mujhe bhi gussa aata hai...zor se bhi aata hai kabhi kabhi...but
then as i said..cant argue..cant shout...silence is my weapon...

25.I take some time 2 open up...I cannot b myself from the very 1st meeting.

26.I love teasing my friends...i love 2 embarrass them...n i just love 2 see dem blush!!!!!!

27.I m quite secretive...u can never guess whts going on in here...n if i dont want u 2
know whts wrong...u will neva come 2 know(there r a few exceptions 2 dis...but
exceptions cannot b taken as examples)

28.I like expressive ppl...i like ppl who say it more often...but it does not mean dat
i hate being inexpressive..ofcourse not...i m dis b'coz i love being dis...plz dont
ask me 2 explain.

29.I love kids...n i can spend hours playing silly games wid dem...n arguing wid
kids...nothing beats dat!!!

30.I hate 2 give up...i really find it hard 2 submit..u can call me stubborn...

31.These days i m going thru hell...dis is the most difficult one 2 confess(dat is probably the reason it is no.31)...i m nt quite liking it...like i said b4...dis is not my idea of life...i dont belong 2
dis...i wish 2 run away...plz dont discuss dis wid me ppl...i may feel embarrased...

lo..likh dale 31 confessions...
n with my fingers crossed...here goes the click.

i wish to go back......

gone r the days...n never will they come back...but still i want dem back...
gone r the days wen i ws surrounded by ppl who care...now i m all alone...all on my own...my eyes desperately looking 4 someone known...
someone who knows dat i hate to explain...
dat i enjoy silence but hate solitude...
dat i love my people n m incomplete widout them...
never did i think dat life is so hollow widout friends...but den u learn 2 value dem dis way...i've alwaz known wht they r 2 me...but now i know dat i m nothing widout dem...
there were times wen they scolded me 4 being inexpressive...today i have nothing 2 say but still wish i had someone to ask me "whts wrong?"...sounds weird...but dats how it is!!!!!
i was cursed for being out of touch most of the times...n now hearing even one of those life supporting voices makes my day...
i have learnt dat life is just like dis...n it is dis inertia dat hurts...

dats me!!!!!!

wen i say its not fun nemore...i dont particularly mean dat it ever was fun...but dat now it is not is something i m very sure 'bout.
life has taken a deadly turn...n i m not liking it the way it is driving me...never in my life did i feel dis helpless...i can just not make things go my way...n i m not used 2 being guided away...though i haven't given up...but smwhere at the back of my mind i have dis subtle feeling dat very soon i will have 2 submit...n i m scared...
i dont wanna give up...i still wanna hold on...though i m not sure whether i wud b able 2 or not...in fact i m quite sure dat sooner or later i will have 2 give up...my mind may agree 2 it...but i wish my mind cud rule my heart...things wud have been much better then...
still clueless i wait...4 some miracle to happen...dat helps me break away from these shackles...dat takes me 2 wht i feel is my idea of life...very different from wht i m going thru...
here i m at the verge of losing ...bt still not having the guts to surrender...dats me!!!