You two ...

This one is to the two most irritating creatures around...irritating in their own unique ways.

The queen of sarcastic humour, if you happen to say or do something even remotely intolerable in her vicinity, you have had it. That look on her face, indifference and insult in almost equal proportion with a hint of accomplishment and a short sentence. And you are dead. The hint of accomplishment, by the way, is just to reinforce the fact that you got what you deserved and SHE knows that she delivered it perfectly. She is fast at things, be it reading or falling asleep or opening her big mouth to draw the curtains open over something we had asked her to keep quiet about. Miss DLF Pramerica !!!

If you think I am having the time of my life, here is someone saying BINGO. She is always there to take care of people I could not pay back well in words. She will make you realize that you always were so wrong about yourself, whether you liked or hated yourself doesn't actually matter. She makes sure you know that you are wrong, in worrying and in not worrying, in studying and in not studying, in sleeping and in not sleeping, in speaking and in not speaking, in writing this post about her and in not writing it before. And the fact that she likes my hair makes me mad, for so many reasons. Miss RPG !!!

Two of the most important ladies in my life; you guys have taught me so much, about myself, about others, about the world at large.

We aren't together for the new year's eve and this one is to tell you both that you are the two best things that happened to me in the year.
Happy new year !!! :)

PS: I know this is soooo "not me", that's why it is here and not on orkut. I have a reputation to protect.

I miss you... :(

Just yesterday I wrote to a friend about this...and here I am again, saying the same; if there is something I miss today, its YOU.



Though it has been more than 6 months, it seems just like yesterday, those days of togetherness, when I was there...with YOU.

Just cannot erase those days from my memory, the good and bad times with you, you were always there to show me that life is all about moving ahead. I found a soothing comfort in you, there were times when the only thing good about my life was YOU.

How can I forget the times I spent with you, guess everything about those days makes me miss you all the more. There is so much that my association with you has given me that you are a part of me now, I am not myself without YOU.

Hearing your name brightens my day up, a picture of yours revives my spirits. How I wish you were here to complete me, how I wish I could be there to fill in the void into which just you would fit. I know you are waiting...so am I.

See you soon Bangalore... :)

Its all about who not to team up with !!!

And this is the latest talk of the town where town stands for the not so old group of 60. One term down, we are all eligible and informed enough to have a view on who is a good team player and who is not. With stats submissions just a couple of hours away, what would be a better way of easing out the tension than cursing those who didn't bother to even show their faces when work was in progress.

So here is what I have gathered through all this and through my personal experiences with my groups.

-> There are those who perform extremely well in quizzes and individual assignments; they may not be good to work with, too self centered they are.

-> There are those who are discussing what the project would look like, throughout the term; they may not be good to work with, too imaginative : that is just what they are.

-> There are those who keep pestering you to finish this and that and are very particular about deadlines; they may not be very good to work with. Facilitators: that is all they are.

-> There are those who carry an air of sincerity and they are absolutely USELESS.

This leaves us with a handful of productive heads, people who will work and let others work. And forming a group out of them is the task at hand for the 5 terms to follow. Providence of God, Watch over us ....

Lifted !!!!!

As I walk towards the girls hostel building, I am not bothered if the keys to my room are with me or not, I dont care if I have any water in the room or not, there is just one concern that keeps bugging me : is the lift working ???

My experiences with the lift ever since the day I came here can be best termed as "horrifying". I have been using lifts for last so many years that I can not be excused for any silly "lift mistake" that I commit. How can things as simple as pressing a floor number go wrong ??? But....things as simple as getting down at the correct floor have gone wrong and led to very very embarrassing situations. I have landed up at the wrong floors so many times of late that now even after I check the digital display inside the lift, I make it a point to check the floor board outside the lift too.

I have tried to open someone else's room with my keys, tried hard, kicked the door 3 or 4 times and then realised that the feel of the place was different...and that it was not my floor...not my room...and walked back at highest unnoticeable speed lest someone should see me and what I did.
On another occasion, I went to see a friend at her floor, kept banging her door, did not answer back when she asked who it was, and only after some time realised that the voice from inside was not my friend's but a senior's. Deep shit, did not know where to hide my face.

And the latest "lift issue" is that I stay on the 4th floor and 4 days in a week the lift is not working and I have to climb the stairs, 80 in number, atleast thrice a day. During those days, I make it a point to be equipped with all that I would need before starting the journey. At so many occasions, me and my makkar gang settle near the stairs, block everyone else's way just to gather enough motivation to climb up 4 floors.

Its actually very strange that something like the lift can be of so much importance to you that you come back to your blog after some 3 months just to let everyone know how much it matters !!!

Shadow moves ahead...

Once upon a time there lived a 'clueless' and with her lived her shadow...her reflection...her follower...

Today there lives a 'clueless' and there lives her shadow...but...
miles away... and I miss her.

Too big a statement to make as all of you who know me know that we have never been seen as ideal siblings,ones who smile at each other's sight,share their goodies and sleep together.

Rather we have always been the extremely allergic to each other types,who hate it when our friends praise the other one,when mummy papa ask us to look up to the other one for things as trivial as eating spinach or keeping the cupboard clean,when the other one gets a new pair of...even slippers.

But here I m not narrating our unassailable bonding which as a matter of fact does exist,here u will just find out what u see if u flip me...
You see my shadow...

And shadow is the most appropriate word,for that is what she is...intentionally or unintentionally.

The shadow is 2 inches taller and 2 shades lighter. She has long hair and a very shrill voice. And mind you,she is a hard nut to crack,not the docile submissive creature that her sibling is...

She lives in her own world,on her own terms...doesnt give a shit to what is going around her,doesnt care what anybody outside the house thinks of her and doesnt lend an ear no matter how important an advice you have if it does not interest her.
She is someone who'll be the most stubborn one for a moment and will melt down to whatever you wish the very next moment.She'll fight and shout at the top of her voice for a moment and will calmly walk back sobbing into her room the very next moment.She'll praise papa for being the only one in the family who understands her at one moment and will curse him for being biased and partial the next moment.

We never were very expressive about our feelings about each other with exception to the anger strokes that we very frequently showered each other with. But when it came to sharing our victories,our failures,our tears,we were always there for each other. I am a proud elder sister who is her shadow's confidant in all her crimes : major and minor,who is the first one to know all that is going on in her little world. And today is yet another moment of pride when my shadow moves ahead to live her dreams. And all that i can do is to tell her that we all love her a lot.

There is something very beautiful and close to my heart that I came across some time back and it says :
'She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling,even in the dark.She is your teacher,your defense attorney,your personal press agent,even your shrink.
Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.'

And by the way,the last line is oh so true !!!!!!! ;)

What am I looking for ?

There are times when I feel that I have absolutely no doubt about what I want from life, that my expectations are clear and realizable. But there is a disturbing deviation that emerges at a considerably frequent rate and brings me back to the point from where I started...and leaves me pondering what exactly am I looking for.

I know that I know all that I should know, but only as I write this do I realise that what I do not know is that the deviation arises from the insecurity I have developed over the last couple of months. The insecurity is totally legitimate and assures me that some part of what I think is still realistic.

When you question yourself and counter your replies without any bias, the probability of failing is bound to decrease. It is the easiest way of keeping check over yourself and over your not so sane dreams.But doing away with the bias is the most significant and the most difficult part of it.

Coming back to the insecurity, it is not all that needed but its existence should not be questioned as it is a genuine one. Every sane individual thinks about how things would go when one sets off to chase his or her dreams. Doing what your heart desires sounds too obvious but leaving what you have for creating what you wish to have may not sound to be that good an idea. But I feel if I am risking my today, it is only for an assured tomorrow and is completely justified.

The insecurity just needs a reassurance from me every now and then and I am mistaking this need for reassurance as a lack of belief in my aspirations. So the next time when I get the feeling that I am going clueless, the path to comfort leads to 'Bakar junction'.

Best friend !!!!

Today clueless tells us about someone who has always been there for her. And she calls him her best friend.

They were not the best of friends since they knew each other. She always liked him, admired him but only later did she realise that he was the one who fitted correctly and absolutely into her definition of a best friend. She shared her deepest sorrows and her sky high dreams with him and he always seemed to understand. There were times when they fought but he always surrendered. He happens to be the one responsible for turning clueless into an over assertive female. He never got irritated with her, even when she herself did.

He smiled at her when she felt lonely, appreciated her for all her significant and insignificant efforts, cheered her up when she won and stood by her when she lost. He always had the best things to say. He made her feel secure and protected without risking her space. He was there with her on all the important ocassions of her life and having her lucky mascot with her always paid off.

He was the first one she thought of when she needed help for she knew he had a solution to everything. He was her magic man and the magic never failed.

And even today when they are not with each other, she can still feel the magic.
I can never tell you how much you mean to me. You are my strength and I need you for each and every decision of my life. You rock Dad ....