What am I looking for ?

There are times when I feel that I have absolutely no doubt about what I want from life, that my expectations are clear and realizable. But there is a disturbing deviation that emerges at a considerably frequent rate and brings me back to the point from where I started...and leaves me pondering what exactly am I looking for.

I know that I know all that I should know, but only as I write this do I realise that what I do not know is that the deviation arises from the insecurity I have developed over the last couple of months. The insecurity is totally legitimate and assures me that some part of what I think is still realistic.

When you question yourself and counter your replies without any bias, the probability of failing is bound to decrease. It is the easiest way of keeping check over yourself and over your not so sane dreams.But doing away with the bias is the most significant and the most difficult part of it.

Coming back to the insecurity, it is not all that needed but its existence should not be questioned as it is a genuine one. Every sane individual thinks about how things would go when one sets off to chase his or her dreams. Doing what your heart desires sounds too obvious but leaving what you have for creating what you wish to have may not sound to be that good an idea. But I feel if I am risking my today, it is only for an assured tomorrow and is completely justified.

The insecurity just needs a reassurance from me every now and then and I am mistaking this need for reassurance as a lack of belief in my aspirations. So the next time when I get the feeling that I am going clueless, the path to comfort leads to 'Bakar junction'.

Best friend !!!!

Today clueless tells us about someone who has always been there for her. And she calls him her best friend.

They were not the best of friends since they knew each other. She always liked him, admired him but only later did she realise that he was the one who fitted correctly and absolutely into her definition of a best friend. She shared her deepest sorrows and her sky high dreams with him and he always seemed to understand. There were times when they fought but he always surrendered. He happens to be the one responsible for turning clueless into an over assertive female. He never got irritated with her, even when she herself did.

He smiled at her when she felt lonely, appreciated her for all her significant and insignificant efforts, cheered her up when she won and stood by her when she lost. He always had the best things to say. He made her feel secure and protected without risking her space. He was there with her on all the important ocassions of her life and having her lucky mascot with her always paid off.

He was the first one she thought of when she needed help for she knew he had a solution to everything. He was her magic man and the magic never failed.

And even today when they are not with each other, she can still feel the magic.
I can never tell you how much you mean to me. You are my strength and I need you for each and every decision of my life. You rock Dad ....