What scares u most???

What Scares You Most ? ? ? ? ?
U can all have different answers 2 dis...ranging from a cat crossing ur way or the result nite or the feel of monday or any other thing.
As 4 me in the present context it happens 2 b applying 4 leave... :D
I m a li'l darpok by nature...
Or rather...i m a vaccilator.
I m,or rather have been scared of seniors,crazy ppl who follow us on the roads,teachers....few more,but after moving out,i have overcome my fears to quite an extent.
But there is one fear that has developed over the last couple of months...and dat is of my PM.
I cannot imagine anything more scary than approaching him 4 discussing a leave plan.
It is a big torture to think of what i wud say wen i go to him...i keep rehearsing it again n again...i deliver it well but dat i come 2 know only after the discussion is over.
During the discussion,i feel like a poor trapped animal,looking around for help.
During that small period of 5 minutes or so,i realise that applying for leave is the greatest sin that cud have been committed by me,that life wud b much easier if i were at my desk in front of my system rather dan in front of the "Big Boss".
I feel as if everybody around is wondering how foolish i m to apply for a leave,that i m a tiny creature and everyone around is so damn big!!!!!
I try to feel normal and comfortable but completely fail.I just wish those moments get over soon but they seem like ages.
I feel like apologising for the blunder dat i did by approaching him for leave and promising him dat i will never again in my life trouble him this way...
I suppose by now all of u must b wondering what a jerk i am...
But trust me,i was just trying to provide a small piece of entertainment to u guys...i have never ever been scared of anybody or anything in my life...n applying for leave is a cakewalk...
But if anyone of u is scared of walking up to ur PM,just remember one thing...
ITS A MATTER OF JUST A FEW MINUTES...IT'LL GET OVER SOON!!!!!!!

voyage unfolded...yet again !!!!!!!!

Everybody around is complaining dat my posts aren't my types...they r serious and do not reflect ME.
So dis one is a lighter insight into all dat i m going through these days...
These days!!!!!!!!
See i understand,the same sulky stuff again n again...but just cant get out of it,so plz bear wid me.
Lets begin from the beginning...
Wen HCL came into my life,it hardly seemed to matter...i was not prepared for it no doubt. It was more of "thank u"," thank u" ,widout even giving the cause a thought.
Time started moving faster dan ever...n i knew i had 2 leave,though i hated to think of it.
Then it came...the big day...the 22nd the july...my abap mates know wht makes me say dis "the" again n again... :)
Thoda rona dhona...n i set off.
initially it was ok,no troubles as such.And then came the deadly announcement evening.The man in red said...SAP Bangalore.
And i was out of my senses...could not hear...could not speak....
Ek baar aur thoda rona dhona.And then the old man n his lady said on phone..."b'lore is gud,don't ask for a change"...so i knew my destination.
What followed next was a very memorable phase of my life.the training session at noida b4 the final bye bye.the instructors were extraordinary,the weather was extremely pleasant,the food was delicious(dont believe a word of it) n inspite of all these,life wid my three roomies n others was fun.
the last week of training was really exhausting...a literal NIGHTMARE ...
n den finally v had 2 fly...from there to here...everything ws well planned.And hence exucuted successfully.
The next phase was the worst...my abode for the first 30 days after a week at the guest house.I witnessed hell...stinky clumsy place,rude girls(particularly the one who was in the room next to ours),dirty food,no light,no fresh air,wht else m i forgetting dat makes a hell???? But then...everything happens for a reason...v were there b'coz v had 2 b somewhere else after dat...n v landed up from nowhere into a biiiiiig house,wid evrything just in place n a loving maid.
And since then ...i m exploring new places,interacting wid totally different ppl,living a new life...
n more importantly i m cracking jokes,commenting on all those who pass by,investing my precious time in priceless panchayats,reading novels till late n writing blogs!!!!!!!!
though i miss my nautanki mates a lottttttt...i wish the whole of my toli was here to accompany me...
i've had the honour of being with some of the biggest cracks,n they bring out the mirthful me,the crazy me,the mad me...i donno why i always end up missing my ppl even wen i had decided dis wud b a silly stupid post.
neways...time to wind up.
i tried to sound the way i used to be six months back though i know i didn't... :(
but i'll try to work at it,will try to come up wid an improved version.
n if i can't,does it really matter?

nothing stays forever....

I once read somewhere...
It is sure to be dark if you close your eyes.
And it is this that has made me write this post...
I have been very strongly feeling for the last few days that I m pushing myself towards darkness,towards solitude,towards affliction.
So here I am to cheer myself up...though i m not very sure whether i wud succeed or not,but i m committed towards this attempt.
It is a bit difficult to move out of ur cocoon n face the world...so it was for me...i missed my parents n friends badly n had convinced myself pretty well that what follows wud b even worse n i have not a single reason to b happy...but one fine morning i realised that i needed my smile back... And i immediately set off...
I have had my share of darkness n sunshine will have 2 follow...may b not today...but some day for sure...n i m ready 2 wait...
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow them.
I m not going to cry for all that i have left behind,i m looking forward to a promising dawn which wud take me to a brighter tomorrow.We all face tough times ,what determines our strength is the skill with which we deal with it.
And i will not let myself down,i will welcome all scuffles, all challenges....n live each moment to the fullest.
I will be myself again...the same troublesome me...with that little spark of madness... :)